A little bit of ranting never hurt nobody!

 
I DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT...

...but, yeah.

So, here we are. It's out and I've seen it. Powerful. Moving. Life-changing. And irritating.

What? What did he just say? How can it be irritating?

OK...well, first let me start off by saying that the movie itself is not irritating. It is a masterpiece, and yet the most difficult film I have ever watched in my entire life. Mind you, I've watched my share of films, too. Imagine Schindler's List, but on a completely different level. This movie is that important. Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you that I am adamant that every person sees Mr. Spielberg's film. You cannot leave that movie not changed, I promise you. And the same goes for "The Passion."

So, what's irking me off so much? What would make me, the most random-not-blogged-in-like-forever writer come back, and back with such an "irked-ness"? Let me share with you a story:

So, here's me, hanging out with Jim on Wednesday early afternoon...grabbin' some much needed grub and catching up on things. We're chilling out, waiting for our food to arrive at the table, and I'm peeking over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of CNN Headline News, when something catches my eye.

Me: OH NO!
Jim: What?
Me: They can not be doing this!!!! No!
Jim: Doing what? (turning around to see what I'm talking about)

But it was true...in brilliant Technicolor all over the little television screen. So, I started thinking to myself: Self, chill out. Maybe it won't be around here. Maybe the places around here won't fall into this trap and carry it. Maybe they'll see the insanity and stupidity of it and let it be.

So, going into the movie, I was trying to psych myself out that this was going to be the case. So I went. But, there was this haunting feeling in my head that my hopes would be crushed, and that "they" wouldn't see the inappropriateness of it all. Still, I hoped...and prayed.

Morning comes. I get up, knowing I have a long day ahead of me. And off I go. But first...I needed to see for myself. I needed to believe that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't bow to the pressure. Wait...what's that in the window of the store? No...maybe it's just a poster for the movie. I draw closer, as the truck and I search for a place in the parking lot. I'll just go in and see...and if there's anything there, I'll try not to make too much of a scene Or will I? But He did...and quite a scene it was. ...sigh...Well, I'm here...just better go on in...

Sadly, my fears were founded. Amidst the Precious Moments figurines and candles, I found them. "The Officially Authorized Merchandise of The Passion of the Christ!" My reaction...under my breath...but I'm confessing to this so you can know...WHAT THE HELL!!!

Now, here's the deal. I've tried to stay quiet over the past 5 1/2 years of my walk about all of the insane merchandising machine that is the Christian Marketing Machine...but you know what? SILENT NO LONGER!!!!

How much trendier can we get, people! Do we care if the world takes us seriously or not!?!? Do we?!?!? I have walked through the doors of too many Christian bookstores over the past few years, only to feel dirty when I walk out...why? Because we are SOOOOOO no different than the world!!! In fact, dare I say....WE'RE WORSE!!! I am so sick and tired of the pathetic trendiness of the business they call Christian Publishing, I want to puke! Everyone remember "What Would Jesus Do?" Gotta admit...great question. But how much merchandise can one question appear on until it just becomes nothing but a brand name? WWJD bracelets, WWJD books, WWJD bumper stickers...and that's just the beginning.

Prayer of Jabez, anyone? PLEASE!!! We're talking Prayer of Jabez for Teens, Prayer of Jabez for Women, Prayer of Jabez for Monkeys with Pink Butts, Prayer of Jabez writing tablets, journals, study guides, devotionals, coffee mugs, tote bags, candles, wrist watches...oh yeah, and don't forget your very own Prayer of Jabez Bible! Now, wait a minute...isn't the prayer that Jabez prayed already in the Bible? And don't even get me started on the theology of it all...oh my...2 verses does not a HEALTH, WEALTH & PROSPERITY sermon make, friends!

Wait, I'm not done...DUH DUH DUUHHHHHHH!!!!! (ducks head behind rock waiting for barrage of rotten tomatoes and old hymnals to be thrown at him)

Left Behind, anyone? Now don't get me wrong...in and of themselves, these books have opened the eyes to many a sinner of their misdeeds and caused them to think twice about eternity...but do I really need 6 billion pieces of merchandise shoved in my face every time I walk into the bookstore?

And...sorry Apexers...The Purpose Driven Life has fallen into the same trap...and I love this book...I've read it twice...and hate the fact that it, too, has become so much a part of the machine. Let's see, Purpose-Driven Life Book and Purpose Driven Life Journal, 2004 Purpose Driven Life Wall Calendar, The Purpose Driven Life on Audio CD, Purpose Driven Life on Audio Cassette, The Purpose Driven Life Journal (in case you didn't get the deluxe set), The Purpose-Driven Life: 40 Days of Purpose Sermon Series, The Purpose-Driven Life: Scripture Keeper Plus, Purpose-Driven Life Patch Book & Bible Cover...oh yeah...and lest I forget...the newest trend that all of these so far mentioned have now...MUSIC INSPIRED BY (enter name of whatever here)! Then, of course...THE WORSHIP MUSIC TREND! EVERYONE has a worship CD out now...OK, not everyone...but enough people to raise eyebrows that this is more than just, "Man, even though I've been writing music about my Savior my entire career, and that writing and performing thse songs has been my act of worship...I really think I should do a CD of nothing but worship music since all the other music I've been doing just isn't worshipful enough." Sound right? Nah, me either. More likely it went down like this:

Enter record company honcho...
RECORD COMPANY HONCHO: Hey (name of established Christian band or artist), have you been giving any thought to your new album, because me and the guys upstairs who write your royalty checks and sign your contract think you should probably do a worship CD.
ESTABLISHED CHRISTIAN BAND OR ARTIST: Um, well...we actually worship every time we play or writ....
RECORD COMPANY HONCHO: Great...here's a list of songs to choose from...and let's make sure it's out by this summer so we can beat the rush on (enter name of another established Christian band or artist)'s CD. Thanks...you're doing a great job! Keep it up!

Now, don't get me wrong...I love worship music...just hate being manipulated into buying it by strong-arm-marketing oversaturation.

And now this...a movie that depicts so accurately and so brutally the love our Savior has for us...on a coffee mug. Don't believe me? Go here. Or just go anywhere that fine Christian wares are sold. You can also get nails (the authorized kind that they use in the movie...) on a necklace.

Seriously, what's next? "Passion of the Christ" Happy Meals? "Left Behind" Action figures? I don't know. The sad thing is, they're confusing true outreach with marketing dollars. Here's my take:

Publishers of this stuff need to stop messing with my Passion! We need to stop heeding the Prayer of The Profit-Driven Leeches and keep them Left Behind! Honestly, people...What would Jesus Do? Think about it...nuff said.

Peace out, yo.

Oh, and by the way...I finally got engaged! So much more to tell...but maybe on a better day.

posted by Stacie @ 4:52 PM (0) comments